[I am sick! An unpleasant sort of lung-y thing, green phlegm coming up from the lungs’ depths. I am drinking my marshmallow root and slippery elm tea, sipping miso, sitting for short bouts in the warm golden light of the pre-setting sun. Taking naps next to the cat, who is justly annoyed by each cough. My voice is gravelly, which is not a bad thing. It can be nice to hear the rocks tumbling in my tone. Scratchy at times, and also rich; contributing to the development of a fine patina. I am content in my home, though I find despair and destitution to be regular houseguests at this time. I make them each a cup of the same herbal tea, a spoon of honey in each, and we sit together quietly. It is strangely nice to sit with them in this way.
For the past week I have received a recurring vision of a bright comet blazing overhead. Arcing left to right through the night sky, charting a pristine course. This vision arrives each time with a great sense of calm, of quiet, of peace. It twinkles as a star, as Arcturus, Vega, Capella. Purple flashes, the red of steady ember, aetherial blue, cool glowing moonsilver; a tailed cabochon of light, famed carbuncle. I knew the comet brought with it a spirit of decomposition, as all comets bring along something of note. Today, at last, the words came~ ] Received 8/11/24 | 4:44-5:23pm
Listen to the Recitation:
DECOMPOSITION COMET
As the comet passes overhead, we are reminded:
Everything changes.
Everything inevitably turns into
What sits across from it, its oppo-sit/e.
We are reminded as well of tangent's story
Which, charted, moves over time from negative
To positive, and then immediately turns into
Its negative, in no time at all;
Just like that, infinitely positive becomes
Infinitely negative, which must then work its way
Gradually back up to its positive opposite.
Be wary of sitting too far away,
Lest the whiplash be too severe.
The opposite too is true:
For those who sit nearby may find
What’s across from them to be
Merely as different from them as
Their own image in a mirror.
Everyone's instructions right now are the same:
Decomposition comes before recomposition.
The stories we attach to resources must all be
Decomposed. Especially money, equity, assets,
Land, time, labor, emotion, energy, contracts, law,
Attention. All the resources needed are available — we
Must simply free them from ourselves, free
Ourselves from our understandings.
"I do not understand, officer."
Never say "I understand"! Implied understanding
Is implication of personhood. When you pledge
Understanding, you have given up your rights.
Decompose everything you have attached to
The resources available to you. They must become
Just resources available to you, in order to be naturalized
Appropriately, and to their due juris prudence.
Decomposition of the composite is never easy
Though it be simple: identify the meanings you hold,
The stories you've told—remember them as best
You can—and share them with your innermost circle;
Awareness and sharing permit unwriting and grieving.
Revising the script is no longer sufficient. Line by line
It must be erased, manually. The paper preserved
For the next draft. Do not throw it away!
Compost, compost, compost — the base paper is
Gold, is good. Precious and prestigious
Compose the new words, elegantly lettered script
In the ancestors' hand, who live in your hand
And guide every movement, every twitch,
Every stillness, every ghost sensation,
Conscious and unconscious, intentional and
Automatic; you cannot fail. Failure is a quality of
Decomposition. There are no mistakes afterwards
For everything is informed; and once unwritten,
All can be unwritten; and once rewritten,
All can be rewritten. This is the power given us,
Given to you, to me.
Use it.
Houseguests 🍵. Sah DSimone says turn the intrusive thoughts into friends. There are no intruders, 'hello friend'. What do you need? Feed your Demons practice, ending the fragmentation
Feel better Cybele! It seems that whatever bug you have may be acting as a sort of decomposition in and of itself.